Nana

24/01/08 - excerpt

Nana has a heart-attack. She survives. This I consider to be a bad thing. Not that she's had a heart-attack, the fact that she survived. It's a selfish wish, I fully understand that. If I was her I'd want it to be over. I mean I joke that she'll probably outlive me. Well half-joke anyway.

There is a selfish side to it. Her body is slowly giving up on her, slowly locking her away in the cavernous ruin that is her mind.

She's not who she is anymore, and I'd rather be able to remember her as the tough as nails old woman who could take on the world. Maybe she sees it differently. Maybe I should ask her.

21/04/11 - Good Friday

Two days ago I bought my first car. It's a silver Ford Fiesta that Steve has nicknamed the Pyjama-mobile.

One day ago I got the keys to the new house I'll be renting with Steve. It's a three bedroom that I've nicknamed the Guest House.

This morning at 2:40 my parents received a phone call telling them Nana was failing, and they didn't think she'd last long enough for my parents to get to her.

At about 3:00am the hospital phoned back and confirmed it.

She died in her sleep, peacefully. Her last memories would have been of my parents before they left for the night. They'd been seeing her every day for the last two weeks as she finally faded away. Fortunately there was a family gathering a little under a week ago, so she managed to see all of her Grand-children one last time before she went. I think she even knew who we were.

There are worse ways to go.